Nothing is more appealing to a proud parent when their child is athletic or posses a passion for sports.
In Canada hockey is our staple, secondary to breathing for some who are extremists, and this is putting it mildly. Having a child who plays hockey in his third straight year now, I've seen the ugliness and hostility it can bring, not so much from the children themselves, but the parents!
When is too much? Too much! Raising children is an endless job, they stumble, they fall, they get back up and start again, this is a given and part of the process, having to monitor adults is a whole different ball game. I've encountered the proud parents, the humble ones, the quiet ones who become door mats to the upper management, the rowdy ones, the ambitious ones and everything else in between, it's an endless crowd of good intentions, a melting pot if you will, a different variety of folk that either makes our day, our makes us shake our heads a little, individually everyone has a story, of course, I call it ''The wonderful world of organized sports".
Caliber and rankings in hockey seems to have more of an effect on parents than the children at times, those who know their children have some talent, tend to push them more toward the infamous goal, the goal of having a career in hockey. From the Nation Hockey League, to scholar ships to the U.S or over seas in Europe, where there the Northern countries like Sweden take on our best. This is such a lovely thought, but how realistic is it? And what is the percentage that make it? Who decides that when it's time? These are valid questions, let's face it we all have dreams and aspirations for our children, I know I'm no oddity to this feeling, and I may also be guilty as charged! Truth is, not many make it there, less than 1% of children make a living with hockey, out of thousands that play in our province only (Quebec). Politics plays a big role here, I've had parents who were in tears, beside me when their kids were cut from a certain rank, only to find them in the next practices where they hadn't belonged. It's hard for a parent to point out the caliber, because let's face it, we aren't the experts, we're the observers and the critics and it's hard as a parent to be honest about ranking, but it's the harsh reality we face, and so we do what we know best, toss it under the rug and keep quiet for the sake of sparing the other parent who's child may not be at the same caliber.
Talent is something you can't teach, passion is absolutely something you cannot pass on, it has to be deep within the fiber of their every being.
Having mentioned all of this, the ultimate goal is always to have fun! Learn to play as a team, discipline and hard work toward what ever goal is placed on their future, hockey is a great foundation and one of the toughest sports out there. Being directly implicated in the organized sport has always helped one's child to advance, this is truth and not a direct hit, it's a well known fact. This could also be counter productive to the child, where his dream is no longer his to have but his fathers. This is where the line should be drawn. A child who wants a career in hockey, will live it daily, eat it up, wake up to it, watch every single game on television, mimic every players move and swear by it, it will not be the pushy parent, who drives them to their eventual resignation, in short, we are the only ones to blame for their failures if they become unresponsive and defiant toward your goal. It is an automatic an internal shut down if you will.
Issues may also arise when your child hits puberty entering now the Midget and Bantam years. The hormones are in full swing now, and for some, girls have become the focal point in their young adult lives and so it brings them down a paved path of exploration! All normal behaviour and nothing to worry about if it's under control. What about the ones who get rerouted completely and in trouble with venturing off into temptations all the time? Well, from experience and short stories told to me by many who reached some of the highest levels in hockey, it's a sure bet your child will abandon hockey for good.
Ours hearts will be shattered, we'll even cry a little, so having an education is always a must, before all, yes! even before hockey.
My idea of hockey is a general one, I will only push along the side of my child who wants and yearns it, I love the fact that any child is having fun out on the ice, I will be there financially and mentally, if he allows me to be, the future isn't certain for any child, things can happen quickly, interests can be out grown through time, we as humans are constantly changing.
Talent will all always shine through no matter how much an organization will over look it and whether it comes from their child or others, and placing a child elsewhere can have it's draw backs, but it can also give him a different out look. Every child has their own views, and a pace where they operate to the best of their ability. Not all can be fair in sports, this is understood, but it doesn't always have to be accepted, but rather evaluated and re-evaluated time after time. It's not an easy job for the management either, it's got it's flaws, but we have to be ready as parents to take that on and remain calm and just take it one day at a time!
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